Photo by André Baumecker & Svet Lapcheva
André Baumecker, Cristina BanBan, Marta Bocos, James Burton, Centipede, Evan Crankshaw, Jess García, Javier García Herrero, Gnawr, Maximilian Gutmair, Jakob Klaffs, Svet Lapcheva, Ness Lee, Emil Gustav Lenz, Joachim Lenz, Diego López Bueno, Leopold & Ulrich, Studio Oumi, Mónica de la Peña, Manuela Pereira, Nicolás Prados, Carlota le Quinio, Mar Reykjavik, Monty Richthofen, Tom Scotcher, Brian Sonia-Wallace, Eunok Wi, Leticia Ybarra,
Vega-Tables: Eating Human Meat Under Friendly Observation
Evan Crankshaw is the man behind internet’s hidden gems Flash Strap and Explorers Room, a fantastic blog and radio show (respectively) dedicated to exploring exoticism across all time’s music. On this topic he also does magnificent collage art with which he has contributed to the last issue, and his self published book ‘expedition’ can be seen on his website: evancrankshaw.com
Do you believe in extraterrestrial life?
Somewhere, there has to be others that are not us. Any universe where that would not be so ought to be erased and begun anew.
I imagine, if they ever came in contact with us, they’d be inquisitive, exploratory, like anthropologists. Which does not exclude the possibility of certain manifestations of hostility. They may study us and then colonize, or they may move on. I guess it depends whether or not we have anything they’d want to exploit.
Do you think aliens would eat another species’ meat? Who knows what the biological compatibility would be. Maybe they’d be vegetable people with no use for meat. I’d very much like to meet a plant-man and try to understand that sort of consciousness. Maybe they’d be deep-sea fish people, more interested in our krill than any of our larger mammals. Or they could voracious longpig enthusiasts, wiping us out in a kuru-deranged human meat mania, just like we always thought they would.
Probably the most alien food experience I’ve ever had was my first durian melon, its interior is so much like an unknown body, fleshlike and full of caverns like those of a drained abscess. Rambutan are wonderfully alien as well, pupil-less eyeballs sealed into wild, hairy skins.
I’d play what I always play when I know I’m having life forms over for the first time: Les Baxter, Caribbean Moonlight. After that, the most human of musics, which is to say, Duke Ellington. I’d read the room and proceed from there, but I’d really want for it to be right if I played some stuff from Sun Ra’s Angels and Demons at Play and Night of the Purple Moon. It’s very important to highlight the drums though, so maybe I’d play some Olatunji and rest easy in the knowledge of a job done well.
We are surrounded at all times by aliens, meet them every day, though the species is human. It is a major component of the surreal landscape: surrounded by others who are ourselves, we nonetheless perceive an alien invasion. We fear for our flesh before these cannibals, even as we consume theirs.
I believe such a thing has been done many times already, yes. The answer is yes.
Nominally. Not always. For example, we can confirm that celery is a musical instrument, but not whether it is food. I have seen people who seem to eat, or rather consume, celery; this raises the question: are they eating food (in this case, a vega-table), or merely playing the celery incorrectly? Such examples erode faith in the historical notion/traditional understanding of food, leading the way towards a new discourse of foodstuff analysis and taxonomic classification that does not exclude the possibility of negating the very notion of food itself. “So it’s a very exciting time.”
We are currently open for submissions for our next issue: Food& Sports. There is complete freedom of content and medium (visual, sound, text…), as long as it maintains a relation between food and the theme.
Drop us a line or send your proposals to firstname.lastname@example.org
Deadline: 1st of March 2017.